Wanderlust

Okay, I haven’t been stressing out, I’ve just been having a lot of thoughts in my head and I think it would help to put them down in writing, and as we all know, tumblr is my way of expressing myself.

Okay, so first off, being back sucks. I’ve decided I will do my darndest to not live in the United States when I’m an independent adult. I’ve even looked into moving to Australia for a year to figure shit out if med school doesnt work the first time around.

I’ve been sitting around the house all fucking day not doing shit, waiting for jobs to call me back, so I re-joined LA Fitness. There’s no use in me being stagnant with all my free time when I can at least be a little bit productive and get my fitness on.

I’m going to talk to someone on monday about a possible job. Ideally I’d like to live in Tucson, but if some shit works out here in Phoenix, I have no problem staying. I just need to find time to study for the MCAT with my friend Michelle. I think I’ll finally get to reading all my textbooks even if it all doesnt stick, it cant hurt. I wish I had a photographic memory, but we cant all have what we want.

In terms of boys, theres a couple I’m interested in, I’ll update you if I feel like it.

and thats pretty much it so far. Oh, I decided I’m going to LA for my birthday May 18th-20th. Any of you there? Maybe we can hang out.

AND I decided I’m going to Electric Daisy Carnival this year! I’m so fucking excited! are any of you going? lets meet up!!!

Sorry I havent been on as often as I would like. I’m traveling and posting on my travel blog. I like to post my instagram pics just so my tumblr isn’t completely ignored.

Also let me know if any of you want a postcard. I will send you one! Do you want one?

I’m scared. You guys better not reblog any porn! People will think I’m a creeper!

Hostels in Paris and London are expensive so I’m taking two weeks out of what I allotted for those places and I’m going to morocco. 

I also decided I’m visiting my friends in Stockholm. And I’m going to Istanbul. So the plan is as follows:
Madrid, Sevilla, Ronda, Malaga, Granada, Madrid again to pick up michelle, then Ibiza. Then Barcelona. 

In France I’ll be there for a week with Karla. Then fly out to Marrakech. Explore morocco for two weeks. Fly to London. Explore London for a week. Go to Stonehenge. 

Fly to Amsterdam. Stay with my friend I met at machu picchu. Then go to Berlin for a week. Stockholm for a week. Might miss my Munich to Milan flight to go see the holocaust museum. Then work my way down to Rome. 

Then two weeks in Istanbul. Then fly to Frankfurt and fly to Vegas and spend the weekend there for karlas birthday. 

Sound good? I thought so. Haha. :]

I gave all my dirty laundry to the hostel to wash. Now I have no clean undies but I want a shower so bad! I think I’m just going to walk down to the shops and buy a pair of boxer briefs. Haha.

Every once in a while I get this sudden yearning feeling. I want a boyfriend to love and to cuddle and to text every day and spend time with him.

And it just makes me feel like shit seeing my happy friends in relationships. I don’t think I’m inadequate or anything, so why can’t I be classified as one of those happy couples?

The majority of the time I’m completely fine with being single but like once every three months I just have that primal instinct to share my life with someone, to provide for someone. Idk.

I’m just hoping my time comes soon. And it’s not like I want to meet a boyfriend at a bar or anything. I don’t want to just fuck. If I did I would’ve taken my Brazilian friends up on their orgy offer. But it’s not what I want.

I’ve never had a legit boyfriend in my life. Just some stupid messing around with someone. Ugh. Literally every single one of my siblings is in a long term committed relationship and it makes me wonder what’s wrong with me. I mean I am the black sheep of the family. I’m the gay one. I’m the adventurous one. I’m the one trying to be a plastic surgeon. Am I asking for too much? Like am I not supposed to have dreams like this? I don’t know anymore.

I have a friend that always says he’s going to be single for the rest of his life and I know he’s not. But honestly I can see myself being a single dad with a little boy and a big golden retriever. And I’m totally cool with that. I think id be a great single dad.

And it’s like why am I even complaining? There are people in way worse situations than me being tough and still being thankful for everything and here I am traveling for 7 months. Blowing a ton of money and I’m complaining about one little aspect of my life. I feel like a terrible person. I have no right to complain.

Well if you read this thanks for that. You’re great.

These Brazilian guys asked me to gi to a sauna with them.

Totally not my cup of tea. Lol. I mean they’re cute but I’d rather not be in an orgy. I’m more of a romantic. I want a boyfriend not just a fuck.

Is that too mucht o ask for? Lol.